If you're reading this it is SUPER exciting because we know that means you are either at or starting to think about this amazing stage in life - becoming engaged.
Thank you, thank you for letting us be even a small part of this stage of life. o
We hope this helps keep you figuring out the logistics so you can stay focused on the moment. Of course, we've got an easy checklist for you but since we like to keep the focus always circling back to your relationship and not just planning the fun stuff let's start a bit before the proposal itself shall we?
Are you ready to be engaged?
This is something that we feel should be discussed in an open, supportive way between you and your partner. The proposal should be a surprise - but not the engagement. You want to make sure that you are on the same page - that you're both ready not only to take that step together but that you are ready timing-wise. This does not mean you need to have a super deep serious conversation - it can be something you casually chat about while watching a movie. The goal is to get an idea of what does the next 2, 5, or 10 years look like for each other. If you are ready to jump in but your partner wants to wait 5 - 10 years before getting married then you want to keep that in mind and not only respect each other's desires but have the door open for those bigger conversations.
Talking to family before proposing - is that a thing of the past?
It's no secret that some families and couples are WAY more traditional than others. So, just like that conversation about if engagement is something you both even are ready to think about let alone make happen this is another topic that should be discussed. As Eylin mentioned, it would be very important to her that her one-day engagement means that her significant other had spoken to not only her parents but her family in general. Everyone is going to be different - and since you're here we know that you care about what your partner prioritizes and you want to make that happen so that you both can fully enjoy taking this exciting step together.
Now, don't get us wrong - asking for permission to marry versus a blessing are two very different things. Decades ago permission was a must-ask, but now? Not so much.
Think of it as asking for their support - and trust us, having support in your marriage is always a great option. Just keep in mind, every family dynamic is different, and hopefully, at this stage, you understand and feel comfortable knowing what your partner's is and what would make them feel the most supported and excited moving forward. You might get lucky and even learn of some traditions, or family heirlooms that could be available.
What to plan for your proposal to keep it going smoothly.
Location, location, location
If you're planning for an outdoor proposal you HAVE to consider the weather, not just the time of year but also what your plan B is. For the location, you also want to think through some of your favorite spots, as well as if you are planning for anyone to be with you where there is room. For example - if you're proposing on a hike and want a photographer there and they are a "surprise" they need to not only be able to blend in or hide but also have a solid plan on exactly where the moment is happening. The last thing you need is for them (or you) to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time YIKES.
Who should be part of the proposal planning?
Not only do you need to decide if you are going to have a photographer so that you can talk through and plan logistics but there are many other people you may want to talk with. For example, your partner may want to have their nails done so trusting the task to a friend would be a great resource.
You can also talk to the space or place you're planning - if it's at a sporting event then chat with them to get on the screen, ask them for any tips they may have, etc.
Our suggestions for who you should have there during the proposal.
If you have not yet, be sure to go grab our short proposal-style quiz.
For all three of us, we seem to agree that the moment itself should be intimate with just the two of you lost in emotions together, and then at a later time (same day or weeks later) share it and celebrate with others.
We do also recommend that you have someone there to take photos or videos whether it is a friend or a professional.
Things to have ready
This one is more so for our romantics, or more extravagant proposals. From candles lit and ready to petals thoughtfully placed you most likely will need an extra hand.
You also want to have the placement of your proposal ready - not just location but think through your backdrop. Sure would be a bummer if you took a peek at your photos and right behind you proposing was a bright green dumpster when only 5 feet to the side was a gorgeous view of snow-capped mountains.
Do you have to have the ring ready? NOPE! However, if you do have one do be sure to get that insured very quickly so that it's a bit safer.
Just for fun:
- What hand does the engagement ring belong?
In the United States, it is traditionally on your left ring finger. This is said to have been a tradition from ancient times in Rome and that it had to do with your vein that they believed ran straight from your ring finger to your heart.
- What knee should you kneel on to propose?
Honestly? It does not matter. Most people kneel on the left knee because they are right-handed and that means it's a bit easier to open the box etc you want to propose with.
- Who gets an engagement ring?
It's becoming more and more common for both partners to have an engagement ring. It's also okay if you don't have a ring at the time of proposing. Just do what works for you!
SHOW RESOURCES
This Episode was hosted by AMANDA
Listen to the Episode HERE
​We’d love to dive deeper into your experience and how these questions helped you!
Email us at behindthepartypodcast@gmail.com
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